Dreams Lead the Way

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Dreams Lead the Way

Postby Draerion on Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:55 am

As announced I came up with somehow something to explain the state of Drae, what he experienced in this time gap of absence of mine, and also some ties back up with the roleplay we had with the guild in past.
Soo...I hope you'd enjoy the lecture as much as I enjoyed the writing. I know is not a full explanation what is following down there, but wish to be more an open window on my character itself.
And I will prefer fill many gaps icly by RP too(always if you still want me), so don't mind if seeming that some piece of the puzzle is missing...I totally understand XD.

The greenish light that filters through the branches blinds me as I open my eyes, wakes me up.
What time is it? Where am I?
Scent of smoke in the air: a fire. The forest where I am burn, I have to leave.
I try to lift myself upon my limbs...i fail.
Again I try, and try, till I make it, out of pain, gritting the teeth, venting the breath out of my nostrils.
And run. I run till there is a gate, made of stone, runes, roots and spirits: even the creaks in that ancient lintel are whispering, screaming their pain, while the forest burn.
They blame me, blame my run, blame my shadows projected onto the stone by the firelight behind me.
I turn, and there is Him.
A smothering monstrous figure vomiting embers and sin: rage and fear is devouring everything.
The forest is long gone...I ran too far!
There is a city under the shadow of the giant flame, the capital...
No..no, please...no...
It is too late. Is already Dark.
My eyelids opens again, letting me see through the darkness of myself: a vast mass of ash and dust covers the ground, covers me.
The air is thick, scraping my throat at every breath taken: I barely can move, my body is scorched and my fur is no longer white or green.
My horns are missing, cut away from me, while the wound bleed.
In all that pain a child wail out his cry, his desperate call.
I wonder myself how such small creature can do something I barely could dream to do in this moment.
And before me comes an elf, a male. He smell of fear, he smell of cowardice, and his feet are leaving a wound on the ground at each step taken.
I try to speak but everything that comes out of my mouth sounds like the moans of a wounded deer.
He kneel above me, so to make me see through his eyes, through myself.
He is me.
He wears a crown made out of my antlers, and a cape out of my skin.
There is the child, within his arms, but is not a baby: is something without even a face, or a mouth to cry or feed.
Before my stunned and sore eyes, the other Me carries the ominous thing near to his lips...and bite.
I keep watching, and watching: I can't even close my eyes anymore.
That screeching sound drill my very soul, till the last moment, till the meals is eaten.
Now I can finally close my eyes, close that horrifying scenario out of myself.
And then I start to fall.

- - -

Mirrytian is listening to me while I tell him my nightmare. He woke up just after me, while I was still gathering my thoughs and self consciousness in a bath of sweat.
I conclude my telling, and turn to face him: his face clearly shows the confusion that I created in his mind, and he looks worried.
"Drae...hav-...have you any hint of what this could means? Perhaps it has to do with your s-..."
I' am not allowing him even finish the sentence, which already with my eyes I reproach him. I have already considered many interpretations, and cannot allow a young just lecture me about my own self, my family or my purposes, even if those are hidden within the folds of the dreams.
I decide to get up, thoughtful,venturing over to the mirror: I have never been accustomed to keep anything similar as vanity object in my dwellings... but the young likes it.
I look at myself in the mirror, naked, alone with my skin; my look is aged, severe: I do not remember it been this way.
The night out is sultry, calm, but it is a new moon night. My Goddess is missing tonight: her face is turned at the other side, not willing to accept the prayers of her children. Not that I have been the most faithfull worshipper, but there is an uncomfortable feeling about myself, that neither the gentle touch of Mirrytian girdling my waist can sooth.
I look down at him and I feel guilty to being unable at elaborating more about myself to him.
"I beg your pardon, I know you're trying to help me. I started this journey looking for someone, or something. Perhaps, the roots of my past that I had never concerned about, until few cycles ago."
He replies with a meek tone, soft, patient as ever: "Drae, maybe you should try to leave some unresolved issues, and think about those closest to face..."
His words are hitting on my ego as a gale lashes the tree. At times, specially when we bond together, I forgot how wise he may be for his age.
I smile to avoid let him see the soft blush coloring my cheeks, to regain my self, but probably he already saw it, and smile at me back.
We stares at each other for some moment before I bend over him and press softly my forehead over his one.
It's not my that sweetness, as is not my that vulnerability, but I can't help being so while he is near. I remember few that make me feel so calm and quiet with their touch.
My mind run back in the months, while I found myself stuck in a nightmare...and i feel guilty again.
Since then I never been able to be as balanced as before, never been at peace.
For sometime I thought I even lost the path of the Stag, that I'd missed the interchange somewhere along; then I took this journey, to find my missing son, informations about him: I thought that if I'd cared more about myself and my family for once, I could have solved the turmoil within my head. How wrong of me think so arrogantly. It's been precisely that choice which made me leave the Path.
Along my way I found this young herbalist and brother druid, Mirrytian: he follows the teachings of the Treant and his skin, as I learned about, can take many hits before get scratched opens...so his spirit.
I've never needed nor wanted the help of someone;I haven't desired for a new mate...all happened.
Maybe is Elune herself putting me at Test-
A kiss is stolen from my lips, unraveling the fabric of my thoughts.
"You think way to much, brother Grayhart...you already know what you need to do to balance yourself, you just have to let nature take its course then."
The boy said those words with a smile upon his lips, yet his eyes were lesser joyfull than what he thought to show.
He perhaps knew already what I had figured by myself.
My problem lied in Darnassus, where I left unsettled business with a certain Druid of the Flame, and where I let my fears and selfish being became my Gods and rule me.
I left everything unsettled, everything with no words, just to follow the shade of a son I never been a father for: new life is always a great event, a gift; yet, such a gift comes with responsibility, prices, and I always thought that the raise of a child was not my business, that I was meant to do something else.
In this regard I always watched from far distance, trying to protect without being close. Have been childish, arrogant and naive just pretending to change after millennia, only because some member of the Nature's Grasp Order become father. What I wanted to show with this?
I laugh: I laugh at myself and at the stupidity of my actions.
I know I will have to go back, to be my true self, and stop hunting dreams that never comes true.
But for tonight, I want to indulge a little more in my own selfishness...
Scoop up Mirrytian, and carry him over the bed where after I lie next to him; I tell him that I love him, I say my thanks for his help, for him being there...for just being with me.
I know that whatever I say will just hurt him even more, because the two of us already know that I will depart the night after, when the first scythe of moon will smile in the sky... I know it, but everyone have to comes to terms with reality sooner or later, and I don't want make it easier.
The night pass long as we bond several times, with the fear that one could be the last, until that come.
I do not have the luxury of crying, nor I want to do it; I pack my things, collect myself, aiming to remove the burden of my existence by the young shoulders of the male that shared his life, for a while, with me.
My mind is projected into the future, to the apologies I'll have to extend,to the explanation I'll have to give, and demonstrations of strength I'll have to overcome: it is with these thoughts that I fill the road back to Darnassus.
The time is not of any importance or consistence. Only the Life is important. You are alive. So live.
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Posts: 176
Joined: Sat May 26, 2012 7:43 pm
Character: Draerion
Realm: Defias Brotherhood
Class: Druid

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