First visit to Darnassus

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First visit to Darnassus

Postby Yeldras on Mon Sep 07, 2015 10:23 pm


A few years ago...


The ship rumbled as it crashed into the waves. Far away at the horizon, Yeldras was able to see the New World Tree, Teldrassil. This would be his new home, for who knows how long.
At the time, Yeldras wore a green-leafed robe, and had a wooden staff, blooming with flowers. These were his only possessions he brought with him from Ashenvale, as he was not able to carry any more. On the other side, he did not require any more items.

The ship docked at a small village on an island, at the roots of Teldrassil. Yeldras looked up in the sky, unable to see where the tree ended. He made his way into the village, following a group of other Kaldorei. After a few minutes of walking, they stumbled upon a tree, with a bright purple light among its roots. One by one, the Kaldorei stepped into the light, and vanished into thin air. Yeldras came closer and closer to the tree, and was now in front of the line. He stopped to think for a bit, and after taking a deep breath, he stepped into the light. Now, the purple light had surrounded him, as he heard loud and indistinguishable noises. Then, everything went silent, and it felt as if the ground beneath him had vanished. Only moments later, the purple light faded, as he stood firlmy on the ground. For a brief moment, Yeldras was blinded by the light, and he slowly regained sight.

He set a few steps forward, and he was able to see clearly now. As he stood in a garden, he felt an overwhelming sense of balance and nature. In front of him, just across a gorgeous bridge, there was a huge, snow-white Elven structure, with vines crawling either up or down the walls, and a wonderous violet dome on top of it. He looked to the right, and saw an enormous temple, which must have been the Temple of the Moon. He walked towards the waters in the garden, and glanced into his reflection in the glimmering pool. His heart skipped a beat, and time had seemed to stop as he saw such pure and clear water. This wonderous feeling was not leaving his body anytime soon, he believed. He reached out his hand into the pool, and stirred it into the water. He instantly felt connected to it, as his hand glowed a bright golden light. He took a quick glance into the sky, as he looked at the stars that shined upon the city. Their beauty absorbed Yeldras' thoughts, it was as if the stars had welcomed him personally, and he felt more at home than ever.


Just a short story I wanted to share here. I'm a hobbyist writer, but I usually write in my main language, Dutch. This is one of my first English writings, so don't be hard on me, as I hope to improve my skills here. Feedback would be appreciated though. ;)
Last edited by Yeldras on Thu Sep 10, 2015 8:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: First visit to Darnassus

Postby Salirien on Tue Sep 08, 2015 4:41 pm

Nice! I really liked this read, can't wait for more! Writing in a foreign language can be tricky at first, but I think you're doing very well! Hope to see more from you in the future ^^

*prods with the stick of moar*
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Re: First visit to Darnassus

Postby Soriah on Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:14 pm

Was actually going to comment on the English language used here - it's very good. So despite there being not much to the story, it's good to see an ability to write is definitely present here. :) Well done, and keep writing!
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Re: First visit to Darnassus

Postby Aariam on Wed Sep 09, 2015 11:53 pm

I like it! I think you write well, and I'll be curious to see what you cook up in the future. :D

The only feedback I have to give is that generally, it's spelled "kaldorei" and not "Kal'dorei". ;) We're the odd one out of the dorei, not conforming to the naming standards of sin'dorei and quel'dorei.
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Re: First visit to Darnassus

Postby Yeldras on Thu Sep 10, 2015 8:03 am

Thank you all for your feedback! I'm going to keep on writing, and I hope to improve with every written story.

Aariam wrote:The only feedback I have to give is that generally, it's spelled "kaldorei" and not "Kal'dorei". ;) We're the odd one out of the dorei, not conforming to the naming standards of sin'dorei and quel'dorei.


Thanks for telling me, I'll keep that in mind! ;)
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Re: First visit to Darnassus

Postby Edradir on Sat Sep 12, 2015 4:41 pm

Nice introduction of how Yeldras experienced Darnassus on his first visit.
Well done, I liked the read. And the used English language seemed very good,
though I also have dutch as my native tongue.

Hopefully more tales will sprout forth from your mind.
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